My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
He shit in the fireplace
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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