dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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