White coat. Heels.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
