The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
