please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I came so hard my ears popped.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize