Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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