So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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