Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
