why didn't you poke me back
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
