Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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