At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
