if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
either way he was missing a nipple.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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