you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
