He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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