walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
