what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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