Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
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