He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Randomize
