The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
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