I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Randomize
