Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
