I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
