i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
