her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize
