I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize