Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
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