i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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