You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
