i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
