I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
