All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
