it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
