He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
false alarm. still invincible.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
