Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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