I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
