Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
