I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
