around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Terrible idea I love it
Randomize
