my vag is so smooth its legendary
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
