what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
