how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
