I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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