Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
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