tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
