peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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