I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
