Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize