I don't think brook has ever known best
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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