Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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