Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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