Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
