I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
