i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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