this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
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