you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I will be naked everywhere
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
