So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
