So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Randomize
