Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize
