dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
